09-08-08

090808 10:40PM (12:40PM EST)

“here, have a dollar…in fact no brotherman here, have two…

…two dollars means a snack for me, but it means a big deal to you.”

This morning I had to step over Mr. Wendal to get out of my building. He was snoozin’ on the bench when I got back mid-afternoon. I’m pretty sure he took a dump somewhere nearby…but I didn’t spend time looking for the evidence.

Nice.

I was hoping for some answers today. There still isn’t a head doctor at the babyhome. I have not seen one single document that ties me to this babyhome. I have not signed any papers. I have not signed in as a visitor to the babyhome. The boy I’m meeting with isn’t even officially available. And today’s story is we can get the medical records Wednesday.

Today is not the day I expected.

Little Buddha doesn’t seem to engage much…he’s smart, but I think he just doesn’t feel good. He gets tired fast.

Let’s think a minute. If you go by the babyhome rules, he would have entered the babyhome around January. He was born July 07. This means he spent his first 7 months somewhere else.

Zhanat said that the birth mother brought him to the babyhome herself & a nurse that met her stated she was very young and beautiful. OK, so she’s 16-19yo-ish (my guesstimate)…

Here in Kazakhstan, it is shunned and frowned upon if a woman has an illegitimate child.

2 scenarios:

ONE:

She loved him and then brought him to the babyhome. His heart was broken & associates laughing with a broken heart. That would explain the fact I can get him to laugh and smile…but only for a short while. It seems as though he catches himself, then stops & even gets frustrated. So he doesn’t want to do something wrong (laugh) and then get his world taken away from him again.

TWO:

This little girl who gave birth wanted nothing to do with this child. Why would she…the guy she had sex with wouldn’t marry her & she didn’t want anyone to know she was pregnant. So she essentially kept living her life & left the baby alone a lot. Maybe ‘mom’ helped her find the babyhome so she could bring him there? In this scenario, he never got to bond with a human being at this critical phase of life.

Needless to say, these two scenarios I came up with are not helping the fact that officially, I don’t seem to be acknowledged.

To top it off, the water has not been shut off. Instead, it will be shut off on Sept 9 – Sept 11. I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting my period tomorrow…that just sucks!!!

I also lost one of my cross earrings today…from my left ear. Maybe it’s somewhere at the babyhome. I carry Buddha on my left side. (the little dude is heavy!!!)

So if I go missing and no one has any record of me being anywhere (why would they?)…go tell them to go to the babyhome near the center of the city (on the street with the VW & Ford dealership) & the proof is my earring must be somewhere in tat playground.

“no ma’am, there aren’t any records of your daughter being on this flight”

I heard of a rejuvenating spa not too far from here…some of my new beautiful friends will be taking me there soon…

LOL

On a good note, we collected little apples instead of pinecones today. I took a little apple and put it in a cup…then he did it. But then, he would catch me watching him & he’d stop…LOL.

I bought MEGAblocks & a little ball today. Perhaps we’ll bond further tomorrow with a bit of plastic fun this time…

I ate dinner with Kelly & Doug this evening at some Muslim Turkish café-type place. It was AWESOME!!!! I don’t know if it was the best so far, but if not, it ranked up there.

I found a cute light jacket I may have to buy. I also saw these boots (suede-like) that were fur lined (faux?) and Chuck Taylor All-Star-like toes…they were pretty cool lookin’. If I stay into the cold weather, I may get those too.

I met a new friend today at the money-exchange bank. He’s taking English at the local University & did a pretty good job speaking with me.

It’s interesting to me how much better Europeans are at English, despite the same foreign language studies. As with Americans, our foreign language skills are inferior to that of Europeans. I believe it’s because of lack of opportunity to use the other language.

…I tried calling Zhanat a few times this evening.

Libby’s pissing me the shit off.

The director of my agency is apparently trying to call me. But Libby somehow gets in touch with me (the director is her boss). Libby has nothing of value to say, but I really would like to talk to her Boston boss.

On a final rational note:

I arrived Wednesday eve. Thursday is when all the fucked up news popped up. Friday we got to visit the babyhome despite no director/head doctor. No one really works on the weekend & today is only Monday.

I’m pretty confident tomorrow will show some promise.

As Stevie would say “we’re the ones who sing at night”

I have my candles lit & my senses turned on…tonight is a meditation night…it’s time to call upon the forces for guidance…

(come with me)